Dossier: done!

After some paper jogging and another quick meeting with our friendly notary...not to mention another $30 to FedEx...word comes from Laura R @ Holt that our dossier is in fact done.

Three cheers for Laura!




Now, we've got some fundraising to do.  As it stands now, we've paid about $8,500 of the $31,000 we expect this process to cost.  The wonderful people at Holt have agreed to reduce their fee by about $3,500 in order to move us along.  They sometimes do that to help facilitate the adoption of older children or those with medical issues.

Because they know about Tommy's medical condition, the amazing folks at Brittany's Hope Foundation, a charity focused on waiting children with "special needs," have offered to cover $5,000.  That will be a huge help.  In return, we're going to do two fundraising events for them; one right away and another next spring.  As long as nothing goes wrong, we expect Tommy will be able to participate in that one with us.

We'll be paying another almost $8,000 over the next 60 to 90 days before we travel to Ethiopia.  So, for those of you not keeping score, that means we'll need another $6,000 to close the gap before our second trip.  That shouldn't be too, too hard, depending on when they schedule us.  We hope there's enough time to save up, but not too much time; so Tommy won't have to wait any longer than absolutely necessary.

In the meantime, we're putting together a "Meet the Romano's" photobook that we'll take with us and give to Tommy when we pass court in Ethiopia.  Last week, we put together a beautiful "Look at America" photobook we'll be sending over in a couple weeks.  That one is just to give Tommy something from us to let him know he's special.  Of course, at this point, he has no idea who we are.  In fact, we're not even sure he knows he's being adopted yet.  Over the next couple weeks, we'll be asking some questions about what he knows and trying to get more familiar with him and his situation.  For now, we simply wait...and continue to pray.

Success!......well, almost.

After getting all our documents notarized, then certified by Warren County, then re-certified by the State of Ohio, we finally sent in all our paperwork to our international agency in Oregon.  You just can't believe the paper chase until you've lived it; it can be absolutely overwhelming.  But, with help from the agency and our local social worker, we got through it. 

So, they let us know yesterday they got our package.  And wouldn't you know, we goofed up on one of the forms.  I kind of knew it would happen with at least one form.  At least this mistake wasn't really my fault.  We didn't have one of the forms notarized.  I checked the agency-provided checklist, and it turns out we didn't do it because they didn't tell us to.  It's the only one on their list that doesn't say "notarize."  Still, it needs fixing, so we're headed out this morning to rectify the problem.

Once we get that done, they say our dossier is complete.  We got a text from the USCIS (Immigrations) yesterday afternoon saying they got our application.  You have to get their permission to immigrate a child.  I was actually kind of shocked that it worked the way they claimed it would.  I don't have much faith in government, but this time, they got our package, texted us that it was there, and told us what to expect next; pretty nice actually.

The final piece of documentation is approval from the Ethiopian court.  Jenny & I will have to go there and present ourselves to an ET judge in order for them to say it's ok for Tommy to leave.  Then we have to go to the American embassy in Addis to get permission to bring him to America.  They tell us it's mostly perfunctory, but occasionally, families get tripped up by paperwork or delays in scheduling, so we're trying to stay relaxed about it.  Nonetheless, we're anxious.

So, if I had to hazard a guess, I'd say there's about a 50/50 chance we'll get in front of the court before Christmas.  And if that happens, there's a better than 50% chance he'll be home with us here before his fourth birthday in February.  That would be absolutely awesome!  We can only wait and pray.

My favorite politician

A major league "Thank you" to my good friend Shannon Jones, who is also my Ohio Senator, who removed a huge rock from our path Friday with a quick (and terribly effective) phone call to the Ohio Dept of Job and Family Services.  They were sitting on some paperwork we desperately needed to keep our adoption moving forward.


I was trying hard (and failing) to keep a positive frame of mind and let the system work.  But, they had our request for more than 100 days, and processing it should have taken about 40 seconds.  In my opinion, they were laying down on the job, and it was creating a serious problem for us.

So, Shannon called (or more precisely, a very nice girl named Megan from Shannon's office, called ODJFS Tuesday and remarkably our paperwork showed up at our agency's office today.  Being a politician myself, my emotions are mixed: somewhere between thrilled that someone in office can make such a difference in an important situation (and one that's wholely appropriate for a politician to be involved in) and ticked that it takes political intervention for government employees to actual get something done.

Now, this is clearly not an indictment of all government workers, but it certainly doesn't speak to the kind of efficiency, public service and customer focus I try HARD to instill in the government that I lead.  But, it's a classic example of a poorly run, centrally driven government that's riddled with unfunded mandates; like the one that requires every adult who's planning to adopt, foster, teach, advise, coach, counsel, or otherwise interact with a child on a regular basis to have one of these certificates, but doesn't provide additional funding sufficient to actually perform all those searches.  I swear, every politician should have to stand in line, and live the misery that they've instituted with stupid rules like these...before they go into effect.

Bottom line is SOME POLITICIAN dorked this one up, and MY POLITICIAN managed to get it fixed for me.  So, YAY SHANNON! and I'm taking this one as a learning point.  One that I will carry it with me as I continue to strive to make my town a better place to live, learn, work and shop (....and deal with the government).

Contemplating the Gospel

We attended evening mass last night, and my brain is still all wrapped around yesterday's Gospel.  It was from Luke, chapter 14, and it really struck me as having a ton of relevance to our adoption plan.

In it, Jesus said, "Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after me
cannot be my disciple."  As I pondered this quote, I began to think about those of our friends and family who have suggested this task (adopting a little boy who's sick and from another country) is just too hard.  There have been a few, and although I know they are well intentioned, that continues to rub me the wrong way.  After all, we know this will be hard; in fact, that's one of the primary reasons we've chosen to do it.

Father Bob wrote in the church bulletin, "To be a true disciple is costly. Jesus does not want or need superficial disciples. He wants men and women willing to sacrifice, willing to follow all His commands.”  In his spoken and written homily, Bob mentions how we, as a people, have come to relish our comfort and how so many of our choices flow from a desire to maintain that comfort.  "Discipleship demands that in the face of all this we keep our priorities straight. True wisdom is knowing where to put our energies, how to focus our attention, with whom to commit ourselves. It may be demanding but it is not impossible for we are given the grace of God to sustain us."

He's right; it's easy to just say no or ignore the hard work of being a real follower of Christ.  It's way easier to let others do the hard work and make excuses like, "I already have four children; between my two full time jobs, I just won't have time; someone in our family already has a serious health condition; it'll be expensive; we don't speak Amhiric; it'll be physically, mentally and emotionally demanding"

Well, we've decided not to say no.  This is just too important an opportunity to pass up!  True, Tommy needs a family, and we'll do a superb job at that for him.  But equally important is the opportunity that Tommy brings to us; in our comfortable home, with our 3+ meals a day, and virtually limitless freedoms.

Making Tommy a member of our family will change more than just how we appear.  Just think of the lessons he can teach us; about struggling and hardship; compassion and humility; love and commitment; walking a mile in anothers' shoes. I believe God called us to Tommy for our benefit as much as for his.  He needs us for sure.  But God knows we need him just as much.  And like Bob shared in the closing today, "If we make the right choices, our lives will unfold in ways that will enrich us and all those around us. Living in right relationships, thinking of the needs of others not just ourselves, following the straight path, lifting one another up as a brother or sister, is the only way to spend the brief time we have here on earth. Nothing else is really worth it."

The video makes the paperwork easer

Just finished watching a video posted by a Texas family who adopted a little girl through the same agency we're using.  The Boyd family just brought home their little girl, Lilly, from Addis Ethiopia a couple weeks ago.  The video was very nice.  It showed a little about Addis Ababa, the capital, where Holt's care center is (that's where Tommy is too) and some more about Durame, the village down south, where many of the children were first placed for adoption.

The video helped get more perspective on where we'll be going, what the conditions are like there, and what it'll be like to visit.  Mostly what it did for me was to reinforce that we've got to get a move on!  There's a little boy who, although he doesn't yet know it, is waiting for us.  We've still got quite a bit of paperwork to do.  So, it's likely to be a couple months before we even get to visit for our court date.  But seeing what lies ahead helps me to keep it all in focus, and gives me encouragement to do what's necessary to keep the ball rolling.

I've got Tommy's picture on my desk at work, on my cell phone, in with all the other kids' photos on my digital picture frame.  Seeing his smiling face keeps the goal of bringing him to America front of mind.  We do a little bit of paperwork every day; even when I'm tired after a long day at work.  Together, we're eating away at those obstacles, day by day.  I hope to have enough photos and some video later, to assemble a nice video like the Boyd's, so we can show Tommy how hard we've worked to get him here.  Till then, we just keep the pencils (and printers) movin'.

Ticked!

This week, I've reached my limit.  We've been waiting since May for a silly piece of paper from our nearly bankrupt state in order for our adoption to progress, and I've just about had it.

To proceed, we're required to have certification that neither Jenny nor I am on the state child abuse registry.  In fact, we're required to have one for every state we've lived in.  Over the 10 years we served in The Marines, we lived in lots of places.  So, somehow, we managed to get the required certification from Pennsylvania, New York, Virginia, Texas and Hawaii; and all of them within 30 days of our request.  Yet, still we find ourselves waiting for the Ohio Department of Job and Family Services.

Now, I fully understand the need for such documentation, and I'm not mad that we have to get it.  I'm merely annoyed that the State of Ohio can't manage to look for our names some time in the last 105 days.  The reason this is such a big deal is that we've been standing still since the first week in July.  We can't file for our visas, get travel approval, file for our fingerprints or submit grant applications without a home study, and we our home study isn't finished without this silly note from the State.  Did I mention I'm ticked?  I'm thinking about ordering a bunch of these bumper stickers....

We're trying hard to not let this get us down.  Meanwhile, every additional day we go without it is one less day to get all our paperwork done in time to bring Tommy home before December 31st.  That's heart-breaking to us and I'm ticked!!!!