Next step...dossier

Finished our home study today.  Karla, the social worker who helped us train and prepare, did such a nice job.  What a sweet lady.  She's absolutely well matched with her chosen career; she's very good at what she does.  We talked at length about all the things we'd need to know in order to do a good job as adoptive parents.  We identified resources and talked about what to expect.  Lots of mushy "feelings" stuff.  Still, very helpful.

Next, we move on to completing our "dossier."  That's all the paperwork required for US Immigration.  The office used to be called NIS, but they have a new acronym now.  In either case, there's a ton of paperwork that has to be completed before they'll allow us to bring Tommy home.  More on that as we progress.  For now, we're waiting for the home study documentation to be completed by our friend Karla and forwarded to our agency for review.  We're praying for a stiff wind in her sails.

Home Study

Yesterday was day two of Home Study; one day remaining.  Home Study is where we get trained in all things adoption families need to know.  How the training is done varies from place to place, but ours was done in our home by a very nice lady who's very experienced and lives right in our community.  It took a little time to get done, but overall not an unpleasant event.  It's a good idea, generally, to make sure people who are assuming responsibility for children are prepared.  I've often thought it would be helpful, and even reasonable, for insurance companies or hospitals to require something similar for birth parents.  After all, most kids are not adopted, so most parents don't get training like this.  For our part, in retrospect, it would have been helpful to have learned some of this information in formal training (rather than by experience only) for our first four kids.

This morning, we saw our names on the Holt update list:

Working on Dossier / Homestudy

The Romano Family                                                                (WC 3y boy)

(WC means Waiting Child) we're with about 15 others who are working on immigration paperwork and about 20 others who are waiting for a referral (that's where you find out who your new child is).  14 other families are waiting for Ethiopian court action and 18 who have passed the court and are waiting for travel dates.  Groups traveling in June and July have been assigned, and in reading the forums and other blogs, we're getting a better idea of just how long this whole process can take.  I keep telling people our goal is to set the land speed record for international adoption.  Seeing the waiting list gives me pause, but seeing our name on it and knowing our dossier is just about done pumps me back up.  Meanwhile, we're researching grants and other fundraising options.  More on that later.

Being a father.......again

It's Fathers Day, and we're celebrating.  My team made breakfast and gave me some great, personalized presents.  They are so good at picking stuff that really matters to me. Madi gave me a MARINES blanket (hand made), Julia gave me a pillow with our family photo on it.  Bub gave me a hand drawn and painted card with some of her best prose.  Moose gave me LEGOs in the shape of the USMC emblem (just giving away LEGOs is a huge deal for him).  Jenny gave me new running shoes; needed those badly.  Running trail races really wears out the shoes, and my last ones had a couple hundred miles on them.  Felt guilty buying new ones while we're conserving cash, but my feet are singing.  Already mudded them up this morning.

Fathers Day takes on a new meaning when you know another child is on the way.  I felt the same when each of the other 4 were "percolating."  Excitement is the base feeling, covered by a layer of anxious, with a healthy topping of apprehension.  I know in my heart we're making the right choice for our family, but I worry.  Are we taking on too much for our other kids.  How will it affect them, how will they respond, will it help them grow?  How much money, time, effort, attention, emotion will another child consume?  Will this make us a better family, draw us closer, bring us grace?  Will it make us more time-challenged, poorer, more scatter-brained, less social.  I think the answer to all of those questions is a resounding YES....just like it did last time, and the time before, and the time before that.

God has blessed us with four healthy, smart and capable children.  Now he has shown us the opportunity for a fifth; maybe a little light on the "healthy."   We're trying hard to keep it all in perspective, but I just have to say, I LOVE being a dad.  It's one of the only things I try to do with reckless abandon.  I LOVE my kids.  If after I'm gone, I'm remembered for nothing more than delivering to the world a handful of humble, committed, smart and thoughtful, gracious and truthful people, then I'll rest peacefully.  And I LOVE  having the chance to be dad for another boy who won't otherwise have one.  I just hope when he arrives, he'll come to accept me the way my other children have: as a sometimes goofy, sometimes embarrassing, often immature, mostly flawed, but hard-working, God fearing, unselfish, simple man who LOVES his family.  Happy Fathers Day to the rest of you dads.

New Photos!!!!

Today, we got new photos of our boy, H.  They are so awesome!  He's smiling huge and looks so healthy!  The pictures came at exactly the right time too.  Our home study is Tuesday.  I know that will bug some people; usually the home study comes before matching, but not necessarily in the Waiting Child Program.   And, with four kids in our home already, it takes a couple days for the interviews.

So, we're a little nervous.  Everyone says there's no way to prepare for the homestudy, but Jen and I feel somewhat un-ready.  We know the kids will do fine, but in the back of my mind, I keep worrying they'll say something obtuse, or our kid-worn house won't be clean enough, or they'll decide 5 home fire extinguishers isn't enough for a family of 6.  Hoping for an ON day for all of us Tuesday.

Great discussion with our "medical advisory team" tonight.  If you're going to adopt internationally and don't have close friends who are experienced pediatric nurses and physicians, you should go find some; ours are AWESOME!   Although this may sound a little peculiar, there's a measure of relief when they look at medical reports and tell you, "I've seen much worse."  We know H has some problems, but we never saw anything in his records that made us afraid.  It's comforting to know "the professionals" agree.

Celebrating!.....a bit

Word from Jessica at Holt, the committee matched us with H.  Great news!  We're very encouraged.  We're using that word rather than excited because it's still a very long process.  We've got to do just under a million things before we can truly call him our son or brother.  Those things include: build a dossier for the State Dept & Customs, finish our home study, pass Ethiopian court, get his visa approved, raise another $12,000, travel to Ethiopia twice, and tell our story about a thousand times.  Looking forward to all of it.

Prayers tonight

I thought tomorrow would be our first blog post.  It seems more appropriate to blog about our adoption when we know more.  Still, I can't help but write some about how I am/we are feeling now.

Spoke again today with Jessica from Holt.  Long discussion about H, his condition, our disposition, our plans and our expectations.  We're going to committee again tomorrow; sort of.  This time, it's just us, no other family competing for selection.  Just a simple question: given what they know about us, is being part of our family better for a 3-year old boy with a difficult neurological condition than being in an orphanage 1/2 a world away?

We're hopeful.  Prayers tonight.