It's Fathers Day, and we're celebrating. My team made breakfast and gave me some great, personalized presents. They are so good at picking stuff that really matters to me. Madi gave me a MARINES blanket (hand made), Julia gave me a pillow with our family photo on it. Bub gave me a hand drawn and painted card with some of her best prose. Moose gave me LEGOs in the shape of the USMC emblem (just giving away LEGOs is a huge deal for him). Jenny gave me new running shoes; needed those badly. Running trail races really wears out the shoes, and my last ones had a couple hundred miles on them. Felt guilty buying new ones while we're conserving cash, but my feet are singing. Already mudded them up this morning.
Fathers Day takes on a new meaning when you know another child is on the way. I felt the same when each of the other 4 were "percolating." Excitement is the base feeling, covered by a layer of anxious, with a healthy topping of apprehension. I know in my heart we're making the right choice for our family, but I worry. Are we taking on too much for our other kids. How will it affect them, how will they respond, will it help them grow? How much money, time, effort, attention, emotion will another child consume? Will this make us a better family, draw us closer, bring us grace? Will it make us more time-challenged, poorer, more scatter-brained, less social. I think the answer to all of those questions is a resounding YES....just like it did last time, and the time before, and the time before that.
God has blessed us with four healthy, smart and capable children. Now he has shown us the opportunity for a fifth; maybe a little light on the "healthy." We're trying hard to keep it all in perspective, but I just have to say, I LOVE being a dad. It's one of the only things I try to do with reckless abandon. I LOVE my kids. If after I'm gone, I'm remembered for nothing more than delivering to the world a handful of humble, committed, smart and thoughtful, gracious and truthful people, then I'll rest peacefully. And I LOVE having the chance to be dad for another boy who won't otherwise have one. I just hope when he arrives, he'll come to accept me the way my other children have: as a sometimes goofy, sometimes embarrassing, often immature, mostly flawed, but hard-working, God fearing, unselfish, simple man who LOVES his family. Happy Fathers Day to the rest of you dads.
No comments:
Post a Comment